I’ve been through the ups and downs of life. I’ve gotten through everything, but there seems to always be this one thing: You. I’m still drowning in the past…and there’s nothing I can do. I wish everyday to relive every moment again with you, despite all the fights and everything. But today I think I’ve finally realized…I can wish all I want, but it will never come true. So it’s my turn, it’s time to move on. I thought your wish would never come true, but you helped me realize in the most involuntary ways. Today is good bye…so let me be free like I wanted a long time ago. Goodbye Mike.
Life is but a butterfly fluttering it’s wings day by day with the same routine. But each moment is another flower, different from one another and never the same. There’s the sweet nectar of the good days and the poison of the bad days. But in the end, those flowers last with us forever. So how I wish I could turn the clocks back and be in your arms again. To be carried from my porch to the hood of your car. To be loved all over again. To love all over again. To hold you hand again. To have my hand held. I miss these things the most. But the worst part is I’m beginning to think you’ve changed…your kiss was the same. But when you’re gone, you’re not the same. So please, let me forget, let me move on, I don’t want to be stuck anymore. I don’t want to be stuck on someone who will never love me back again. I don’t… I never asked for this to happen…I never asked to be stuck in this situation. I wish I could just move on with my life and let this become the past. Why won’t you just let me go?
All I want is someone to make me believe everything’s okay. That I’m okay. And hold me and just let me cry until I have no more tears left to shed. And just never let go until I can find happiness again.
I just wish someone could understand how I feel. Understand me. And every problem I have. But it’s the one thing in the world I can’t have. And neither can anyone else. So my problems are thus unsolvable. I’m stuck in a hole for the rest of my life.
Wow thanks(: it’s funny how caring strangers can be even at your worst moments they seemingly matter more than those close to you.
I hate how everyone says they’re worried about me and all this bullshit. But in reality no ones doing anything to help me. Everyone’s just adding more fucking stresses and problems to my already over fucking whelming pile of shit. So keep throwing shit at me. Keep going. Bc at this point I’m back to square one. #helpless fuck you all. I can’t deal with any of this. I’m better off isolating myself and being alone to figure out these stupid problems that can never be solved. So maybe, just maybe if I do it on my own. And if not oh well. I guess I’ll just give up. So fuck being assertive, fuck the three step rule, fuck the no stress, and most of all fuck trying to get help.
I’m not like everyone else when I know I’ve upset someone I care about it hurts me worse. All I want to do is run away bc I always cause everything upon everyone else. I’m sorry I’m forgetful and disorganized. I don’t ever mean to hurt you for it. I hate that I can never control that about myself bc I always cause problems and unhappiness to others. And I’m sorry.. Im not like everyone else where I can just ignore it bc when ive hurt your sunshine its my fault and it’s something I never want. And I can’t just move on bc it eats at my conscious it’s a guilt I can’t just wish away. I’ve cause that shadow on your happiness and I hate that I don’t ever want to be that shadow. Never.
(: i want everything to be okay. To be worry free, carefree. Safe from everything, yet exposed to everything. To lead but follow…to never lose those things in life that makes me happy. That makes me wear the goofiest smile. And to lose scratch that; to let them go on my own eventually when the time comes.